He was a modern man, a man for the millennium.
Journal Entry: Mon Jun 23, 2008, 12:11 AM
- Mood:
Optimism - Listening to: Napalm and Silly Putty
- Reading: Catcher in The Rye (just finished it actually)
- Watching: Carlin
- Playing: nothing
- Eating: Nothing
- Drinking: Water
He died today. My girlfriend told me just last night she was listening to his set on her computer (I was reading Catcher in the Rye) . I really dug George Carlin, he had some of the most intellectually stimulating comedy albums ever. I didn't always laugh at the morbidity, but I always appreciated his wordplay and story telling. He really was a man for the millennium, and I urge you to listen and read all his books, especially Napalm and Silly putty. They're funny. They're Riotous. Im sad. Sad to think that he reached the end of his set.
Here reached his punchline.
This is what introduced me to his style of beatnik comedy, his beautifully long poem, and I tell you this much, its pure truth.
"I'm a Modern Man"
George Carlin,
I'm a modern man,
A man for the millennium,
Digital and smoke free.
A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist,
Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.
I've been uplinked and downloaded.
I've been inputted and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing.
I know the downside of upgrading.
I'm a high tech lowlife.
A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker,
And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.
I'm new wave but I'm old school,
And my inner child is outward bound.
I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer,
Voice activated and biodegradable.
I interface from a database,
And my database is in cyberspace,
So I'm interactive,
I'm hyperactive,
And from time-to-time,
I'm radioactive.
Behind the eight ball,
Ahead of the curve,
Riding the wave,
Dodging a bullet,
Pushing the envelope.
I'm on point, On task, On message, And off drugs.
I got no need for coke and speed,
I got no urge to binge and purge.
I'm in the moment,
On the edge,
Over the top,
But under the radar.
A high concept, Low profile, Medium range ballistic missionary.
A street-wise smart bomb.
A top gun bottom feeder.
I wear power ties,
I tell power lies,
I take power naps,
I run victory laps.
I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach.
A raging workaholic.
A working ragaholic.
Out of rehab,
And in denial.
I got a personal trainer,
A personal shopper,
A personal assistant,
And a personal agenda.
You can't shut me up,
You can't dumb me down.
'Cause I'm tireless,
And I'm wireless.
I'm an alpha male on beta blockers.
I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever.
Laid back but fashion forward.
Up front, Down home, Low rent, High maintenance.
Super size,
Long lasting,
High definition,
Fast acting,
Oven ready,
And built to last.
I'm a hands on, Foot loose, Knee jerk, Head case.
Prematurely post traumatic,
And I have a love child who sends me hate mail.
But I'm feeling,
I'm caring,
I'm healing,
I'm sharing.
A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver.
My output is down,
But my income is up.
I take a short position on the long bond,
And my revenue stream has its own cash flow.
I read junk mail,
I eat junk food,
I buy junk bonds,
I watch trash sports.
I'm gender specific,
Capital intensive,
User friendly,
And lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex.
I like tough love.
I use the f word in my email,
And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini mall.
I bought a mini van in a mega store.
I eat fast food in the slow lane.
I'm toll free,
Bite sized,
Ready to wear,
And I come in all sizes.
A fully equipped,
Factory authorized,
Hospital tested,
Clinically proven,
Scientifically formulated medical miracle.
I've been pre-washed,
Pre-cooked,
Pre-heated,
Pre-screened,
Pre-approved,
Pre-packaged,
Post-dated,
Freeze-dried,
Double-wrapped,
Vacuum-packed,
And I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
I'm a rude dude,
But I'm the real deal.
Lean and mean.
Cocked, locked and ready to rock.
Rough tough and hard to bluff.
I take it slow.
I go with the flow.
I ride with the tide.
I got glide in my stride.
Drivin' and movin',
Sailin' and spinnin',
Jivin' and groovin',
Wailin' and winnin'.
I don't snooze,
So I don't lose.
I keep the pedal to the metal,
And the rubber on the road.
I party hearty,
And lunch time is crunch time.
I'm hanging in,
There ain't no doubt.
And I'm hanging tough,
Over and out.